Michael Adia

If you are gay and Asian (Gaysians) and are struggling with self-esteem, body image, intimacy and sex, friendships, family relationships and personal growth? Let’s talk!

Sometimes when you see yourself “less than” other gay men, especially your white counterparts, it can bring a lot of insecurities that mess up with your thoughts and feelings. These experiences can contribute to feelings of loneliness, self-doubt, disconnection, and a sense of not fully belonging. And over time, these messages can shape how you see yourself, leading you to feel unworthy or undesired. And these messy thoughts and feelings can impact the way you show up in both personal and professional spaces – where you feel small. To feel valued or to feel like you belong, sometimes there is a constant pressure to work harder, achieve more, sacrifice who you are or prove yourself to be seen and accepted. Living with these expectations can be emotionally exhausting!

If these struggles speak to you, reach out. As gay therapist who has worked many years supporting East and Southeast Asian gay men and youth, I can offer an affirming and supportive space for us to explore and make sense of the complexities of being racialized, infantilized or even fetishized as “Gaysian.” Using evidence-based treatment modalities, such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), we can work together in addressing the impacts of these experiences to your sense of self and work towards building your confidence and a more authentic, grounded, and fulfilling relationship with yourself and others.

If you are queer (Bakla, Tomboy, Trans) Filipinx, and you are navigating the complexities of identity, family expectations, belonging, and cultural values or if you are questioning yourself, “Am I Filipino/a enough?” You do not have to carry these expectations alone. Kamusta ka? Usap tayo! (How are you? Let’s chat!).

It is often hard to balance different parts of who you are – honoring your Filipino cultural roots and values while also embracing new world views and your authentic self. This can bring challenges in relationships with your immediate family and relatives. It can lead you to feel isolated, to compromise or hide your sexuality and relationships, or feeling pressured to constantly explain yourself or even defend your identity. To many, it also leads to internalized self-hatred, anger, and shame.

If this is you, I am glad that you are here and that you are thinking of yourself today. As a gay, Filipino identified therapist, I offer a supportive and affirming space where we can both explore and criticize openly the cultural values that’s not serving you and parts of yourself well. I can support you in learning ways to cope while maintaining a respectful boundary between you, your culture/religion and your family. Together, we can make sense of what you’re carrying and work toward greater self-acceptance, connection, and well-being.

My personal experiences as gay Filipino therapist, with both difficulty and care closely inform my psychotherapy practice. I draw inspiration from community members who have embraced and supported me as an immigrant in Toronto. My hope is to return the generosity and care I have experienced, holding space for your stories with the same care, kindness, and compassion that I experienced in the most challenging of times. Being heard and being seen matters. So I look forward to seeing and hearing you, and to sharing space with you when needed. Salamat (thank you) and talk soon!